We love our mentors…

These mentees are being supported by long time mentors, as well as new 4C trained group mentors. The new mentors are University of Washington student-athlete mentors!

Group Mentoring

Group Mentoring is a new program for the 4C Coalition that is based upon a familiar idea. We believe the group dynamic will help address the shortage of male mentors — an unavoidable result of our firm and necessary policy that the one-one-one mentoring relationship be gender matched between mentor and mentee.

We fear the tragic consequences for society when insufficient numbers of men sign up for the mentorship role, while a large number of youth boys await mentors. Particularly when the wait exceeds a youth’s ability to hang on and resist other influences.

We must address these critical issues:

• A disproportionate number of youth we serve are African American males who more readily form a trusting bond with African American mentors.
• Despite our targeted effort to recruit African American men as mentors, few men volunteer to mentor our at-risk youth.
• Adults who volunteer as mentors appear statistically in this numeric order (highest to lowest):
  1. White women
  2. Women of color
  3. White men
  4. Men of color

Ezekiel Turner, UW Student-Athlete, is a 4C Mentor

“I hope to get a good experience with kids that come from the same background that I came from. I want to mentor kids by providing an inspiration to them,” says Ezekiel Turner, UW sophomore.

Ezekiel who plays safety on UW football team is from the Baltimore suburb of Glen Burnie, Maryland. He came to the UW because of the school, the coaches, and Seattle.  Says Ezekiel, “I love the city.”

One of my academic advisors, Rod Jones, recommended that I consider getting involved with the Group Mentoring program. It is a good idea … it’s something I’m interested in.”

“As mentors, I had both of my parents to always look up to and help me. They are the most important mentors in my life. My coaches from back home are still my mentors and they helped me all through high school and helped me with the recruiting process… I’m still in touch with them.”

Gary Tillery

“I told him to hang up his gloves … and, he did.”

At church, seven years ago, Gary Tillery, listened to a presentation about 4C’s mentoring program. Gary, retired after 26 years as a supervisor at Boeing, decided he’d give mentoring a try.

He attended 4C’s mentor training program. “The training program was very thorough as they went over the dos and don’ts of being a mentor,” says Gary.

After the training, Gary waited two nerve-racking months before being assigned a mentee.

Gary laughs when he says, “during the waiting period, I became very anxious about the commitment … I wasn’t sure that I would be up to the task. I thought that maybe when they called me with a mentee, I just wouldn’t answer the phone.”

4C finally called to let Gary know that they had found a good mentee match for Gary.

“My assigned mentee had a twin brother. Another man was going to take the other twin but he backed out. I felt bad for the other twin, so I agreed to mentor both of these kids,” states Gary.

“It is important to meet these kids at their level, but you have to be careful that you’re not their friend — you are their role model. I had to learn this the hard way. At first, in an effort to relate to them I became more of a pal to them,” admits Gary.

According to Gary, “you cannot be a total authoritarian person because they’re going to resist that. You need to find a way to balance the two approaches. And, of course, every kid is different so you have to be tuned in to them.”

Gary sites two specific impacts he’s had on the boys. “I taught them one of the most basic things —being on time. It’s an educational tool that you do to make your life a lot easier. I stayed on them constantly about being on time, and they eventually got it.”

Another specific impact was on one of the twins, a big strong guy, who could not seem to stay out of fights. Gary kept telling him to hang up his boxing gloves. Turns out this boy moved out of the area, and one day out of the blue, Gary gets a call from the boy, and the first thing he tells Gary is “I finally took your advice and I’ve hung up my gloves.”

Says Gary, “a mentor has to learn as you go along. I can’t give you a map or a book that can lead you down the path, you have to play it by ear. Oftentimes, they just need someone to talk to. The important thing is to be there for them.”

College is Next for Savannah

One of our mentees, Savannah, was the valedictorian for the 2015 graduation class at Rainier Beach High School in Seattle. She has been mentored by Meghan Arbuckle since she was a 16 year old high school sophomore. Savannah is planning on going to college and we at the 4C Coalition are helping her navigate the college application process.

Two years ago Savannah traveled with Seattle’s 4C Coalition to Washington DC for the 50^th anniversary March on Washington Memorial Youth Mentoring Summit. As if that participation wasn’t enough to do Seattle proud, Savannah then did one better and won first place in the “Spell it Like it Is” Spelling contest.

About the Washington DC experience, Savannah said, “I felt honored to be able to walk the same streets as people I look up to as heroes, such as Martin Luther King Jr., Barack Obama, former presidents, and congressmen and women.”

“Also, being in Washington, D.C. gave me a new perspective on life because I saw that even though we’re so far apart, Washington, D.C. and Seattle are more similar than different.  For example, Washington, D.C. having the history it has, I was surprised to learn that it has just as much poverty as Seattle.”

Savannah also participated in 4C Coalition’s Pen or Pencil group mentoring program that focuses on connecting young people with the educational system (the pencil) to head towards success and keep them out of “the pen.”